No.1

I was in a public toilet and had just sat down, when I heard a voice from the next cubicle,

he said “Hi, how are you?”

Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”.

The voice said “So what are you up to?”.

I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”.

He said, “Can I come over?”.

Annoyed, I said, “rather busy right now”.

The voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door answering all my questions.”

No.2

A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:
Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet. 
Inspector : -What is her height? 
Husband : -Average, I guess. 
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?. 
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy. 
Inspector : -Color of eyes? 
Husband : -Never noticed. 
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season. 
Inspector : -What was she wearing? 
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit. 
Inspector : -Was she driving? 
Husband : -Yes. 
Inspector : -Color of the car?
Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door... and then the husband started
crying...
Inspector: -Don't worry sir,...We will find your car.

No.3

Best Joke at Niagara falls..!

Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls..

These are the world’s largest waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard. Now I request the Indian ladies to keep quiet

so thatwe can hear the Niagara Falls..!